Weighty Issues

If you are an avid reader of the blog (hi Jo! hi Carlee!) or know me well, you'll know I'm a master of the self-depreciating humour. One of the reasons I shrug off the talk of being "inspirational" (see recent post) with jokes, is because sometimes its hard to not feel like a bit of a fraud. I am not a person who can do what I did last week (humble brag: cycle 400km in one week and run a half marathon before work on a Thursday), because in my head there is always a piece of me who is that fat girl from highschool. I am not the lithe triathlete or pro-cyclist (although skeletal is probably a better descriptor for many of them, male or female) who in my mind embodies the "proper" triathlete.

I have lost and kept off a substantial amount of weight since my trip to Europe in 2006 which saw me return home with too many Dutch friet met mayonaise (chips with dutch mayonaise, which is so good that I am sure there is crack in it) under my belt. One of the reasons I started running (see: gateway drug to triathlon) was to lose weight. Several years later I have learnt two things (which apply to me, not universally), 1) Weight loss is 99% about what goes in my mouth, and 2) Endurance sport is not the best weight loss technique (because I can smash that 1,500 calories from a several hour bike ride pretty easily).

So vanity and half ironman triathlon could only motivate me to so much weight loss. But the spectre of Tour de Force mountain climbs has proven pretty good motivation so far (for those of you wondering why- its a lot easier to drag less weight up a hill than more, and a few kgs can make a big difference). I've learnt a lot about myself and the reasons I eat in the last few years, and for the most part things are coming together.

This weekend I did a happy dance when I finally shimmied into skinny jeans that haven't fit since pre-Cairns 2012 half ironman. But I also know that its not the numbers on the scale or the circumference of my waist that determines how good an athlete I am, but the training, discipline and consistency I put in. And, like my life journey (or as part of it), my weight is always going to be something I'm working on, but it doesn't have to define who I am or how good a person I can be.